Tuesday, November 25, 2008

one more

One more dinner photo before I let myself go to bed. I think I like this... any thoughts?

nips and naps

This blog has been a real downer lately! Boo me! Well no worries friends I am turning myself around. I know I make it sound like I am about to quit photography any minute but that simply is not possible. I am still being photographic everyday (as Frank suggested) and I am making sure to pick up my camera at least once every day. I am also reading blogs, revisiting my favorite artists, watching documentaries and generally getting inspired. In fact I think I am on the cusp of figuring something out. I can feel it. I have Stephens (BEAUTIFUL) Mamiya range finder which I am very excited about. Once I get the dynamics of focussing and framing with that camera down again I am fully prepared to make some very thoughtful photographs that have been in my mind for some time now.

But today is not the day for ground breaking work, today was just a day of goofing around with my camera and here is what you get:

Nip was practically begging me not to go to work this morning and I ALMOST listened to her...

but image how sad I would have been if I had missed this gem!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Friday Feast!

Friday dinner at Ellen's house:

I went to Boston last night because I picked my sister up at the airport at 5 am this morning. We had an amazing dinner at Ellen's house and I got to spend time with some new and some old favorites!

This is the first image I have edited so far. I love the way Ellen's hair falls on her back. There will be more to follow.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

photo nights

All my best photography lately (in my mind at least) has been happening at night. I am excited about these new images but I am honestly totally lost when it comes to working them through in photoshop (any advice is welcomed). I am also becoming continuously more aware of the limitations of my camera. I have been fantasizing about the 50D and the 5D Mark II. Oh if only! But of course then I am wondering if I am trying to fix an inspiration issue with a fancy camera? Maybe? It is always more comforting to blame it on the machine rather than the operator.

Well heres some work (please keep in mind that these are in no way editted to completion at this point!)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

As Bees in Honey Drown

just when I feel like I have hit photo rock bottom a ray of sunshine begins to shine and I get to do something that is cool and new and exciting. I have 660 images to edit and I haven't been this excited in a while. More to come...

And you should all go see As Bees in Honey Drown.

Monday, November 3, 2008

jumping off the deep end

So here are some thoughts:

1) I am a little tired of doing commercial work these days. I just feel that I get overwhelmed with deadlines and then I don't do anything that excites me and I just fall back on things I know work and I know are good enough. Plus I have been having to shoot in terrible spaces lately that just depress me when I edit them. Seriously why are all events held in dark dreary places? Why??

2) I have decided that the reason I can't make solid work that I love has nothing to do with a lack of ideas. In fact i know exactly what kinds of photos i want to make. in fact i have about 5 thousand images in my head waiting to be made. The problem is instead a matter of being at the wrong place in my life right now. (Actually in writing that down maybe that is exactly what i need to be photographing right now.) All I want to do is be a part of a family and have children in my day to day life so that I can really photographs from the inside of that world looking out rather than my current dilemma of being on the outside looking in. I want to make photographs like Sally Mann, Tierney Gearon, or even the woman who does this blog. It is SO frustrating to know what I want and simply not have the materials I need. I might as well not have a camera with how stuck I feel. I need to photograph the girls I nanny for more but even then, we go so long without seeing each other it is hard to be up to date on them and their lives enough to really capture their real personalities.

3) I need to get over this issue because my life is not rocketing toward parenthood anytime soon. Maybe I will start photographing all the times in my life that their is an absence of family? That feels really forced but maybe that is what I need to do... force myself to get over all this whining.

4) I am also freaking out a bit because I have come to the realization that this is the last photography I will take...maybe ever. That is terrifying. It is a passing of the baton from external forces pushing me to photograph to relying on my own internal drive. I can't decide if that will be relieving and freeing or overwhelming and crippling. I guess next semester will be a good test because I will still be able to be in the lab alot without actually having to be there. I feel very much like I am standing on the edge of something and I can't decide if I am going to jump or wobble here for a while.