Sunday, October 26, 2008


So I have been thinking about self portraits alot lately and in particular the fact that I constantly find myself making self portriats. This feels very strange to me considering how much I actually hate having my photograph taken.

So I have been looking back through the self portraits I have taken over time and I am trying to figure out what it is that draws me back to them. Part of it is definantly that I sometimes am the only person around but I haven't really made those types of self portraits in a while.

though here is one perfect example of that:

Then there was the photo project that I did when my grandma passed away. But in retrospect and through looking at those images I am realizing more and more that it wasn't so much about my feelings about my grandma's passing but was rather focused on feeling of disconnect. This feeling was however amplified by my first real loss experience. When I was going through these images they were actually hard for me to look at. Part of it is that they are so completely raw. They are nothing like the images I generally like to make (you know all those freaking kid pictures). Their is a sadness in these images that is actually palpable to me. But at the same time I do see connections between these images and the photos I make of other people. I try really hard to catch emotions that are as real and present in photos of other people as I did at one point in those images of myself. Which then leads me to the question of whether I am using other people(specifically kids) to express my emotions in a more visually interesting and accessible package.

I am just so much more drawn to the way these kids are experiencing sadness and frustration than I am to images of my own experiences. That might speak to my general discomfort with my own experience of...well, discomfort.

Maybe I need to do more self portraits (like all the time).

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

sorry frank!

(me in my first time out which pretty accurately describes how I feel about this blog right now)

Alright, so this is a very (VERY) long over due post that comes with a heart felt apology all around. I could tell you all about the reasons I have not been making any good art in the past month but I will save you the time and just leave it at the fact that I am in a funk.

Except not in the rest of my life, in fact I honestly feel that I can only make good art when the rest of my life is moderately falling apart. We will see how this pans out over the course of my life :/

But I have been shooting (don't you worry!) and I have some new photos to add for your viewing pleasure:

First up some roommate comparisons... I have really been exploring my apartment as in depth this year as I have focused on my home home in the past. So to begin with I am exploring it's inhabitants. It is fun because Caitlin and Mark are much more visually distinct (especially when it comes to their spaces) than my family tends to be.

Next up is the environmental explorers club which I have been volunteering with for the past few months. I do not have the images I want yet but I can keep going back and I think it will get more sucessful as I get to know the kids better. We will see.

Finally we have my visit to Rhode Island with my parents. This was a wonderful weekend and it was the first time I have been back home this semester. But unfortunantly I was only actually at my house for a few hours and then we climbed in the car and headed to RI to visit family. I still really love photographing my parents. they are such interesting people in my mind. But it is new photographing them now that they are empty nesters. They have always done an amazing job of staying interesting people through out parenthood but suddenly I am thrown into seeing them as individuals completely seperate from my sister and I and I can start to see them differently now. I don't know if these pictures capture that at all but that is what is driving my continued photographing of them.