So I have been thinking about self portraits alot lately and in particular the fact that I constantly find myself making self portriats. This feels very strange to me considering how much I actually hate having my photograph taken.
So I have been looking back through the self portraits I have taken over time and I am trying to figure out what it is that draws me back to them. Part of it is definantly that I sometimes am the only person around but I haven't really made those types of self portraits in a while.
though here is one perfect example of that:
Then there was the photo project that I did when my grandma passed away. But in retrospect and through looking at those images I am realizing more and more that it wasn't so much about my feelings about my grandma's passing but was rather focused on feeling of disconnect. This feeling was however amplified by my first real loss experience. When I was going through these images they were actually hard for me to look at. Part of it is that they are so completely raw. They are nothing like the images I generally like to make (you know all those freaking kid pictures). Their is a sadness in these images that is actually palpable to me. But at the same time I do see connections between these images and the photos I make of other people. I try really hard to catch emotions that are as real and present in photos of other people as I did at one point in those images of myself. Which then leads me to the question of whether I am using other people(specifically kids) to express my emotions in a more visually interesting and accessible package.
I am just so much more drawn to the way these kids are experiencing sadness and frustration than I am to images of my own experiences. That might speak to my general discomfort with my own experience of...well, discomfort.
Maybe I need to do more self portraits (like all the time).
Sunday, October 26, 2008
reflecting
Posted by Annie Cohn at 5:31 PM
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3 comments:
Some interesting stuff here, both visually and uh... word-ly? What you are saying about the images of your grandmother passing is very interesting, and I can't help but think about how impressed I was with that series when I saw it during the photo final (what was that, like 2 years ago now? Jesus.) I also can't help but think that the paragraph you've written here about how you felt about those photos holds 100 times more weight than photos of your roommates are ever going to. Just saying. Get out of your house and put that expensive lens to work.
On the subject of being in a funk, I can relate. I can't take close-ups of plants and expect someone to care anymore, and I've found out how easy it is to make excuses to yourself as to why you aren't photographing (for me it was no photoshop, now that i have that it's no neg scanner).
You still have photo-bros all around you whenever you want, use that shit all the time.
Lastly, let's trade prints soon
much love
i like that i live with the person in these pics. I feel lucky
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